Affirmations for Enneagram TypesAugust 26, 2019
Affirmations for Enneagram Types – Feel free to download these to post to your IG or save them as wallpapers for your phone background or home screen! Say these affirmations to yourself frequently to combat any negative self-talk. I chose to leave out Types in case any affirmations resonated with you other than your own.
To download them, hold down your finger over the image you want to save and then click “save image.”
Ambitious Women and How to Balance Creative Work With ParentingJanuary 26, 2019
Entrepreneurs, Masters degree / PhD seekers, ambitious women, business owners: How do you do all this AND parent? I need life balance tips and I need them now because I am juggling all the balls and doing so is unsustainable. I’m really struggling with wanting space from my kids so I can pursue my dreams, but I’m simultaneously afraid that I am missing out on being fully present in their lives. My baby is ten months old and we have a five year old. I knew running a business would never be the same once having children, but I have yet to find balance.
I’ve been extremely vulnerable with those I love. If you’ve ever met me, you knew this immediately. I value emotional depth and empathy in my intimate relationships. These aspects of the Enneagram Type 4 I really relate to. I acknowledge that those I don’t talk to every day or relate to through an online relationship may not experience the levels of vulnerability I maintain with a tiny collective of others. So this year, I am working on shining light on the depths of my soul so that others may find solidarity and grace, too, because I’ve discovered these precise gifts in the offerings of your own souls since I discovered I was going to have a baby.
Trying to find the balance between parent and ambitious woman has become so overwhelming. I’ve had major dives in the last 9 months into post-partum depression that have become so intense that I thought that not existing would be easier on everyone else because I just cannot keep up. Now, this was me at the bottom of the well. It’s dark, damp, and putrid down there. That is, until I was able to crawl my way back up through self-care, squashing negative self-talk, and support from beloved friends and family. Okay, basically picture me as the girl from The Ring. 😂
Truthfully though, I never experienced PPD immediately after giving birth — it came as a shock a handful of months later. Thankfully, I’ve also had the support of my primary care physician and an amazing psychologist who works with her. I believe that these waves of PPD and severe anxiety were intensified by further loss of autonomy related to my ability to create whenever I wanted — or whenever the Muse was abiding (creatives, you feel me) — and also see my creative projects to completion. After all, I’ve spent 36 years of my life being able to fine-tune my environment. It’s not as simple as this-causes-that, but I can attribute some of my PPD to this feeling of lack.
My husband has been incredibly supportive these last months, moreso than any other partner I’ve heard of, so this only makes me feel more shame for succumbing to what feels like ungratefulness. Our five year old is the most helpful and loving brother to Arlyss and when he is in our care, he’s such a blessing to me. But I’ve become resentful at my baby for having needs of his own because, ironically, he seems to have them exactly when I’m trying to take care of my own needs. Yet he is such an ‘easy baby.’ It goes without saying that I love both of these boys with all my heart and these struggles have aren’t meant to paint a picture of how I treat them, but more so, they paint a picture of my inner world trying to reconcile my role as a parent AND an extremely ambitious woman, dogged introvert, and intense creative.
I’m exposing this about myself to you because maybe you’ve been here or are struggling with similar experiences. I want you to know that you are not alone. I believe that my creative ambitions still deserve my energy. And I believe that I can foster a fulfilling and nurturing child-parent relationship at the same time. And I believe that this is possible for you, too.
*See also: I need babysitting recommendations again and someone who can come to my home and hang out with my cute ass baby so I can work my butt off k thanks.
Empowerment: Tiny Shifts in Our Perceived ControlDecember 28, 2018
So I have a question. It’s been since I was preggo with my miracle keto baby that I had portraits taken and it’s time to have some portraits taken again. Well, maybe after Taylor Douhit freshens up my hair this week and makes me feel more like myself. Isn’t it interesting how much we change in such a short time. Do you ever look back on your past portraits and think, “Wow. I was a totally different person then!” Or do memories from around the time your pics were taken flash before your eyes? Yesterday, I was thinking about the trajectory my life is on. Not in an “Am I going to be a successful” way. Moreso … if my life were to keep moving on this particular vector indefinitely, where would I find myself in X amount of years? All it takes is minor adjustments to drastically alter where we find ourselves in the future. My health. My family. The love I give to others. The hurt I cause others. The people I spend time with. The friendships I neglect. The way I talk to others. Every choice, every experience places us more off-course or more in-line with the meaning-filled life we long for. It’s not helpful to steep ourselves in past regrets or guilt, but it’s helpful to me to perceive present life as the cumulative outcomes of many, many moments. If you’re wanting a different kind of life, it doesn’t require a huge, life altering change. It just takes one moment where you make a tiny shift in your trajectory. And then another. And another. That’s how empowerment works, actually. We are wholly empowered when we make just little shifts in perceptions of our self-control and competence.
Photographers & Friends: What do you do with the portraits you have taken? Do you print them for your homes? Do you primarily use them for social media? Or some other use? I am so curious! Tag friends / past clients / photographers if you’re wanting to know as well.
Enneagram Type 6 – Childhood and Parent CombinationsNovember 29, 2018
With my childhood staring me down from the past and the dreams I have of my babies staring me down from the future, I’ve been deep in thought this month, longing to answer “How can I empower my kids to be the best, most empathetic and kind versions of themselves into adulthood?” I worry that little nuances of my interactions with them will influence them in a way that doesn’t result in this. Am I providing enough structure? Am I being too strict? Am I too moody? Am I being unpredictable?
Guess what. Even the most lovingly supportive child and parent combos result in personalities that are inherently … flawed. The Enneagram personality Type 6, for example, often results from growing up as a responsive (engaging, affectionate, responsive) child paired with a responsive (supportive, sympathetic, friendly) parent. Sounds like the best case scenario, right? Well, as they grow up, they tend to struggle with opposition or attachment to authority figures. This is a reminder that no personality is more flawed or better than another. We are all imperfect. All personalities come with an innate set of struggles. And we are also ALL impeccably gifted. No matter which character traits become us, when we embark on a journey toward self-awareness and make sincere efforts in self-work, a certain result is personal growth. And this mind-bending and struggle-ridden journey is the example we can set those around us (including our children) — the same example that will have the most impact on their growing toward HEALTH.
Enneagram Type 4 – Past RegretsNovember 24, 2018
Maybe when I’m not a photographer anymore, we’ll have our family pics taken. I’m such a hypocrite about the importance of photographically documenting our family and it’s hitting my enneagram type 4 Identity nerve in a big way. So I’ll be over here hanging onto my past regrets. Love ya. Any other Fours up in here?
Our Boys’ Childhood in a Blended FamilyNovember 21, 2018
I love watching Arlyss’s personality develop over time. He’ll be eight months old in a https://www.kristyfountain.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=385&action=edit&classic-editor#edit_timestampcouple of days, and I remember the first long three months when each day felt like a week (come of think of it, waking up every 3 hours didn’t help). He was tiny and beautiful, yet relatively inert. And I didn’t get the snuggly early period to enjoy because he was unable to breastfeed regularly and an extremely independent baby. And what’s cool now is not only to watch how he’s becoming more quirky, funny, smart, and alert, but also how Liam seems to be activating special aspects of his personality. They are hilarious together and Liam is the best big brother around. Truly. He’s the sweetest, most compassionate and helpful brother. When we’re not in the room, he’ll let me know that the baby was fussing, so he fed him a bottle. And it got me thinking about when, exactly, our personalities (the kind that stick with us) form. We start out as little babies and our instincts are related mostly to our physiological needs. And then as we grow, we begin to form beliefs about the world around us through experiences. We form expectations and relationships. We become competent in acting on our world, we are motivated to have our needs met, and we try to keep ourselves safe. The Ego develops and grows. And these seem to be the foundation for our personalities to form upon. We are not born with a personality, we develop one. And I’m grateful that his personality is forming in a time where the house is full of lots of play, reading, outdoor adventures, love, music, and laughter. What are some personality traits or quirks that you appreciate in your kiddos and why?